The Facts of Life

by Cubby on February 28, 2012 · 17 comments

Last month my husband Greg and I attended my niece’s wedding.  At the reception dinner afterward we sat with my sister and her daughter and granddaughter Sammy.

During the meal Sammy (a nine-year-old) said she wasn’t sure if she wanted to eat her salad because it had bacon on it and she had never had a salad with bacon. I said to her, “Has your mother talked to you yet about the facts of life?” Everyone suddenly stopped talking, not sure where I was going with this.

I followed up, “The most important fact you need to know to get through this life is that everything is better with bacon!”

Bob February 28, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Brutha, you are preachin’ to the choir!

Raven~ February 28, 2012 at 2:02 pm

I really don’t like bacon
I request restaurants to hold the bacon …
You, and William, are welcome to my bacon

Cubby February 28, 2012 at 3:29 pm

Sorry Raven, but like the sign says, you’re wrong.

Raven~ February 28, 2012 at 3:44 pm

Yet another facet of life in which I am queer, and disgruntled :-0

Will J February 28, 2012 at 7:17 pm

If you let me have your share of bacon, I shall promise to be very gruntled.

Kyle (@kylerkl) February 28, 2012 at 2:08 pm

Everything is better with bacon…unless you are a vegetarian. :)

Nik_TheGreek February 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

My precious…. :-)

wondermann5 (@wondermann5) February 28, 2012 at 4:03 pm

I do it love

tobey February 28, 2012 at 5:44 pm

LOL that was great!

Frank February 28, 2012 at 7:11 pm

The smell of bacon frying can be mouth watering if you’re hungry…but almost nauseating if you’re not…

Jim February 28, 2012 at 8:56 pm

Eh… I’m not crazy about bacon. You can have mine too.

Behrmark February 28, 2012 at 9:28 pm

Bacon is God’s most perfect food.

Tony P February 28, 2012 at 10:34 pm

In my last job we had the culinary quandry as to whether there was antyhign that couldn’t benefit from bacon. We concluded that no, there wasn’t anything we could think of that wouldn’t benefit.

And don’t you know, a local bakery started with their maple-bacon donuts. Yes, it works well.

We also got on the topic of deep frying. Pretty much everything tasted better when it is deep fried, including bacon itself!

RG February 29, 2012 at 5:48 am

I’ll have a Bacontini, extra dry. (There really is such a drink – it’s bacon flavored vodka. Seriously – I’m not kidding.)

Allen February 29, 2012 at 10:07 am

Bacon is only good when its burnt to a crisp. But I do love it. I will fix a pound of it just for myself. My roomies, are asking if they could have some. I always share. lol 1/2 of a piece for you and 1/2 piece for you. lol

Buddy Bear March 1, 2012 at 7:10 am

I could just imagine the thoughts that were going through everyone’s head, wondering what the crazy, gay uncle was going to say next.

Urspo March 2, 2012 at 11:45 pm

You are a devil.

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